Victoria's Secret

In two days my baby will be eight months old. Eight Months! How did that happen so fast? I am less than a month away from my 31st birthday but I'm sure, positive, that just yesterday I was turning 30 and Vicky was still inside of me.

I happen to think that when you have children, time accelerates to double-speed and life begins to fly by. I can clearly remember the day I figured out I was pregnant, then the day I told Javier about it, then the day that the doctor confirmed it. And it may not be that big a deal since anyone can remember things like these, but that is not what I mean, it's not that I remember it's that when you're a mom, you can feel it. It doesn't matter how much time goes by (eight months, or five years in Eli's case), I can still feel the extreme and unexplainable joy of realizing that I was having a baby.

If I'm honest, I'll have to say that I was never too fond of babies when I was young(er). When all of my cousins were having babies and my sister and mom would gush all over them and insist on carrying them, I would step aside, smile politely and agree that they were "so cute". I was never mean or rude (I think) but I was sure that I was lacking the female hormone that makes us all adore babies..

But when I was pregnant with Elizabeth, I realized that there was nothing in life more important than taking care of myself so that my baby would be safe and healthy. I realized that I needed a crash-course in baby-care...and I approached my first pregnancy as if I were expecting a final exam in order to graduate. I read and read and read, I subscribed to all the baby magazines and websites I could find. While all of this was useful and I certainly enjoyed it, there's nothing like being pregnant for the second time.

I knew what to expect, I was not so afraid or worried. I enjoyed sleep whenever possible, I spent as much time as could with Elizabeth and Javier since I already knew how much time the baby would take up once born. I think I eased into my pregnancy, allowing myself to be happy and nearly worry-free. I also got to share it with my daughter and explain to her things that were so new and amazing to her, it gave me the chance to tell her all about the time I was pregnant with her and relive those feelings with someone who cared as much as I did.

I see Victoria now, at almost eight months and I just love to watch her trying so hard to take in the world that surrounds her...trying so hard to understand the new sounds, enjoying everything that is new to her and practicing her vocal abilities (loudly). I love knowing she is mine, that I made her and that all she knows is that she loves me back. And when I'm watching her, I realize that she knows something none of us knew. She knows that being second can have its advantages, that it can almost be much better than being the first. I believe that when she chose us as her family, she did so knowing that I wouldn't be the kind of parent that would be less caring or loving. She knew how much I needed her in my life to remind me how beautiful it can be. That is her secret. Could that be why she looks so happy all the time?